Ms Goh's GP blog

Is the woman the salvation or the destruction of the family?

Keywords

1. Woman: Woman in her key roles (as wife or mother in a family), having great influence in determining the fate of the family
2. Salvation: Responsible for ensuring the family’s continued survival, that the family stays cohesive. Necessary for the family’s well-being.
3. Destruction: Responsible for the family falling apart, becoming dysfunctional. Could also consider “destruction” in terms of termination of the family line.

Minimum requirements

1. Must take a stand either way (salvation or destruction) or develop a line of argument in response to the question.
2. Need to develop points (with examples) to show how women are key to the family’s salvation, or otherwise
3. Need to also consider other factors that impact the family’s well-being (e.g. the role played by the father)

Pitfalls

• Disagreeing with the statement, with the largest part of the discussion focused on other factors that determine the family’s destiny (e.g. role of father, media etc)
• Not providing a balanced argument in response to the question

Good points / Bonus points

1. Considering the other roles that women play, and how they affect the family (e.g. role as daughter, grandmother)
2. Considering the power women increasingly have over their own biological reproduction (idea of contraceptives, determining own reproductive destiny, lowering birth rates, rise of DINKs phenomena as the women delay marriage and childbirth, or decide not to have any children at all)

Potential Lines of Argument
1. Woman is the salvation of the family, she is the pillar of the family and has prevailed against the demands of the modern world to keep the family together.

2. Woman is the destruction of the family, particularly in this demanding and challenging (modern world). This is the result of what Francis Fukuyama calls the Great Disruption (to society, to family) caused by women going out to work, women controlling their own fertility. Correlation between soaring divorce rates and women going out to work

3. Woman is both the salvation and the destruction of the family, because of the power she wields within it. Key to the family’s destiny is how well she manages the demands of family care and the workplace. The man in the family is just as important in determining the well-being of the family. (Note: if the candidate offers this line of argument, he MUST FIRST take on the PREMISE of the question, to show how the woman is both the salvation and destruction of the family, before discussing the important roles man plays)


Possible Points/Ideas/Reasons/Examples

Areas/ Salvation /Destruction

Psychological /Woman as mother plays key role of nurturing, values development, the first teacher that a child comes into contact with.
/The mother is the primary caregiver
More emotionally involved with children in the family.
Role-models positive role of motherhood and parenting for her children, especially her daughters. Examples of how the family is vulnerable to become dysfunctional when the mother does not play the role of caregiver well.

Emotional /In cases of incomplete families (due to divorce), often the default parent is the mother. E.g. While this isn't true in all countries and all courts, in general, courts still prefer mothers over fathers when it comes to custody of children. /In demanding modern economy, women are often emotionally spent, emotionally absent from the children even when they home from work.

Physical/Biological /Emotional identification with mother as a parent: E.g. A girl whose mother is afraid of storms and large animals is tempted to assume that she, too, is afraid of these dangerous events; a girl with a relatively fearless mother will come to the opposite conclusion. In addition, children share vicariously in some of the experiences that occur to the parents with whom they are identified. If the parent displays/models healthy interpersonal relationships with others, including those within the family, the child too would more easily conclude that he can form healthy relationships as he grows up. When a woman decides not to have any babies, the potential for family creation is lost.

Religious Bibilical perspective: When she has a family to consider, a woman’s primary responsibility and duty is to care for and nurture the young.
Islamic perspective: While not the head of the family, the woman is considered the main pillar of the family.
In Judaism: Judaism has great respect for the importance of that role and the spiritual influence that the woman has over her family. Women are exempted from all positive commandments ("thou shalts" as opposed to "thou shalt nots") that are time-related (that is, commandments that must be performed at a specific time of the day or year), because the woman's duties as wife and mother are so important that they cannot be postponed to fulfill a commandment. After all, a woman cannot be expected to just drop a crying baby when the time comes to perform a commandment. (Can’t think of anything in scripture that says anything remotely negative about mothers. About women, plenty, but mother’s role is revered)

Economic Dual-income families the norm these days. More mothers have to make a sacrifice by going out to work, in order to share the financial burdens of the family. Managing the financial load reduces strain felt by the family and spousal relationship. E.g. Amongst the Malays in Singapore, a key factor which causes divorces is the financial difficulty faced by married couples. Recent data released by MCYS showed that forty per cent of the Malay male divorcees also had ex-wives who did not hold down a regular job, compared to 7 per cent of those who were married.

Married women's increased participation in the work force may have many consequences. Some of the consequences that result form married women working are that there is less time spent at home, less time interacting with family, and changing goals for the future. These consequences may negatively effect the marital relationship and contribute to the increasing divorce rates because some people may be reluctant to adapt their traditional beliefs about the roles they think men and women should perform.

Role of women in developing countries (e.g. Philippines, Indonesia), mothers, daughters leave their familial homes in order to work as domestic help in richer countries (e.g. UAE, Singapore) and remit money back home. This has helped poor families survive.

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